It Ain’t Grammer: Have, NOT Of!

I didn’t want to write anymore “It Ain’t Grammer” posts simply because I felt they had started becoming too mean spirited. Well brace yourselves, this one is going to be a whole new world of hurt.

I am absolutely sick and tired of seeing the word “of” when the correct word would be “have”! Why the fuck is this so complicated for so many people? It’s not complicated at all; it’s ALWAYS have! It’s NEVER of! There are no comparisons to be made. Let me break this down into an easy to read, easy to understand post:

The reason it sounds like the word “of” is because of the “‘ve” part at the end of words like “could’ve”, “would’ve”, and “should’ve” (also “couldn’t’ve”, “wouldn’t’ve”, and “shouldn’t’ve” [all of which should never actually be used, but whatever…]). But do you know why it’s “‘ve”? Because it’s a contraction for “could have“, “would have” and “should have“. So to say “could of”, “would of” or “should of” is WRONG!!!!! FUCKING WRONG!!!! STOP IT!!!

Seriously, why do I see this mistake constantly?! It’s so fucking annoying and it needs to fucking stop! You might be wondering, “Stephen, why does this bother you so much?” The answer: I don’t fucking know! But it’s almost as bad as seeing “your” when you mean “you’re” which I never got around to doing because it also would be extremely mean. But this one needed to be talked about.

Before I started writing this post I assumed those were the only three (six?) times I would ever see this mistake, but I just saw somebody write “you have to of seen” and I just flipped shit. It’s not “have to of” it’s “have to have“! Seriously! “Have to of”?! “Have to of”?!!! I couldn’t believe it. I still can’t believe it. WHY?!! WHY WRITE THAT?!

It’s ALWAYS have. It’s NEVER of. I mean, sure sometimes the word “of” is correct when you’re in need of a preposition to express something, but it’s NEVER correct when you’re writing in these terms.

Know somebody (or everybody) who can’t figure this out? Call them out on it. Please. They need to stop this atrocity. Direct them to this post so that they can feel like a loser.

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