It Follows. No It Doesn’t!
So I should’ve written this review a little while ago when I had just finished watching the movie, but I didn’t. Now I am, though, because people have to know why this is not a good horror movie and why it is not a good movie in general.
I became interested in seeing it shortly after it came out and critics were praising it. Seriously. 96% on Rotten Tomatoes with this as the consensus: “Smart, original, and above all terrifying, It Follows is the rare modern horror film that works on multiple levels — and leaves a lingering sting.”
That is simply a lie and let me tell you why.
So I watched this on Netflix with my girlfriend who hates horror movies because she gets scared easily. She refuses to watch The Babadook no matter how much I tell her it’s an amazing movie (seriously, it is, go watch it instead of this crap). She hated that I showed her Oculus and then left her house shortly afterwards when she has a giant mirror near the foot of her bed. Even the original Poltergeist scared her more than this movie thanks to its terrifying clown doll.
With It Follows she never felt scared, she actually felt bored. And so did I. We should’ve turned it off after 5-10 minutes once we saw how atrocious the acting was. Honestly, all of the characters sounded like they were still learning the script.
I didn’t find any of the characters likeable in the slightest and, to be quite frank with you guys, I really wanted to see them all die. When you’re rooting for the villain in a horror movie where you’re not supposed to be rooting for the villain, that’s when you know something is wrong. They were all annoying teenagers who had teen angst and then there was a love triangle I didn’t give two shits about.
I was most confused by not understanding what time period we were supposed to be in. They had really old technology (CRT TVs with antennas sticking out of the top and in the third act they even have an electric typewriter), yet this one character had a “shell phone” or something. I’m not quite sure what it was. But it made things very confusing for me and my girlfriend.
Another confusing aspect was the fact that there were no rules. And when there are no rules, there is only chaos. But in all seriousness, this “monster” (call it an STI, call it a ghost, or a demon, or whatever you want) could only be seen by those that had been infected (via sex) but yet could still interact with the world and everyone saw shit flying around with no explanation. Then a character shoots it in the face and it bleeds. It FREAKING bleeds! If it’s a ghost or a demon, how does it bleed? Hell, if it’s an STI how does it bleed? How does an invisible creature of unknown origin bleed? Not to mention that once everyone saw it move shit around, nobody thought our main character (Miss I-Have-Sex-While-I’m-Still-In-My-Underwear) was crazy anymore. It got rid of all the tension and the wondering if she’s crazy by straight up saying, “Yup, this is happening.”
The entire third act was the most horrendous part of the movie (but to be fair, it’s also the funniest part of this HORROR movie). And here’s where that spoiler warning really comes into play. They decide they’re going to electrocute the creature by luring it to an indoor pool. They set up all of these electronic devices all around the pool and then main character (I don’t actually remember what her name is and this movie doesn’t warrant me looking it up) decides to go swimming. Now this gets really funny when the creature doesn’t play by their rules and, instead, starts picking up the electrical devices and throwing them into the pool. Somehow none of them actually electrocute her (so their plan would’ve failed anyway?) but a bunch of them start hitting her in the head.
Anyway, eventually she just has sex with Whiny McGee and then the ending is “ambiguous” as it shows a person following both of them. But what if it’s just a regular person and not the monster? Who cares? This movie is shit. I was hoping that they would copy the ending from The Evil Dead and have the monster run at them in first person mode where they turn around and scream. But alas, they didn’t and I was saddened.
There was one good moment in the movie though. I know it’s hard to believe that after all of what I just made you read I do have one good thing to say about this movie. One good “that’s a terrifying image” moment. When she’s sort of being chased by the creature, she locks herself and a couple of her friends in a bedroom. Then there’s a knock at the door and it’s one of her other friends. So she opens the door and standing behind her friend, who comes into the room, is tall man with no eyes. Even if he had eyes, he’s like 9 feet tall and it’s terrifying, but he has no eyes and that made it more effective, especially knowing that she’s the only one who sees him. So, uh, kudos for that one.
But that’s it. I thought it was the start of something awesome. Turns out it wasn’t just the start of something awesome, it was also the end of something awesome as everything before and after that moment was not good at all. Yet it got a near-perfect score on Rotten Tomatoes and one of my friends put it in his top 7 favourite scary movies (though he then admitted that he hasn’t seen a lot of scary movies which is why three or four of those spots were taken up by the video game Until Dawn).
Anyway, overall I’m giving the movie a 2/10 (which is pretty generous in my opinion). The acting is bad, the characters are unlikable twats, the lack of rules for what the creature can and cannot do is annoying, the use of old-timey equipment mixed with some made up devices was confusing and the lack of scares was disappointing. But tall man with no eyes made up for some of it. Also there’s a boob or two, so I guess that helps.
Well that’s my opinion, what’s yours? Do you disagree and like the movie? Do you agree and detest the movie? Let me know in the comments below. Also if you liked this review and would like to see more, give this post a “Like”. Feel free to share this post with your friends and subscribe to my blog to never miss an update.