For this article I wanted to do something different from what I’ve done in the past; I wanted to write an article that people would actually want to read. Rather than simply talking about things I like or don’t like, or mentioning crap about my life no one actually gives two shits about, I wanted to write about something that matters: The death of the English language (at least in written form).
It started with a knock. It was four in the morning and there was a knock on the door. Ordinarily something like that wouldn’t have even made me stir, never mind actually wake me up. There was something odd about this knock, it was much louder than a normal knock. Even weirder is that it was just a single knock. No rapid tapping, no door bell, no “shave and a haircut” knock, just one single house-shakingly loud knock.
I immediately sat up, feeling hungover from the night of partying and debauchery, thinking that maybe it was one of my friends who just needed a place to crash. I got out of bed, wrapped a robe around myself and proceeded to the door. When I opened it, to my surprise there was no one there. I looked around but the street was dead. The whole neighbourhood was dead in the chilly winter night.
Did I imagine the knock? Was it part of the dream I was having? Did I take too long to answer the door and they left? I swear, it wasn’t more than a minute from hearing the knock to getting to the door. Oh well. I decided to go back to sleep.
Man, it’s been a while since I last posted on this blog. Which is funny because I started last year’s New Year‘s post pretty much the same way.
I hope everyone had a great Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, or whatever holiday you celebrate. I know I had an awesome Chanukah. I got movies, books, video games and two really amazing autographed pictures (well one’s technically a poster).
I also hope you all had a fun-filled New Year’s Eve. Speaking of New Year’s, let’s talk resolutions.
Last year I gave myself several different resolutions to try to stick with, so let’s find out how well I did. Continue reading “New Year’s Resolutions Part Two: The Revenge”
I didn’t want to write anymore “It Ain’t Grammer” posts simply because I felt they had started becoming too mean spirited. Well brace yourselves, this one is going to be a whole new world of hurt.
I am absolutely sick and tired of seeing the word “of” when the correct word would be “have”! Why the fuck is this so complicated for so many people? It’s not complicated at all; it’s ALWAYS have! It’s NEVER of! There are no comparisons to be made. Let me break this down into an easy to read, easy to understand post: Continue reading “It Ain’t Grammer: Have, NOT Of!”
I know it’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything on here, and I know that I haven’t done a very good job at the whole “once a week, every Monday” thing I had promised a while back, but it’s for good reason. December was a hectic month. It was filled with chaos and exams and…then when exams were done it was filled with Game of Thrones. Because, believe it or not, I hadn’t watched or gotten into Game of Thrones before. So I spent most of the second half of December watching all three seasons and now it’s one of my all-time favourite shows. I also bought all five books in a box set on Amazon for 30 bucks and I’ve been reading the first book (which is like reading the show).
So what am I promising for the new year? Nothing. I make no promises. I will write stuff when I feel like it and when I have time and when I have stuff to talk about. I can’t promise that there will be one new post every week, even editorials. I have other things to do since school will be starting up again on the 6th. Continue reading “New Year’s Resolutions”
It seems everywhere I look I find blog posts using images. It’s a very common technique that many bloggers use to create some sort of distraction from the text. In fact, when I look up advice on how to attract more people to my blog, one of the main pieces of advice I find is that I should use images. So why don’t I use images?
A simple explanation is that I don’t have an infinite amount of space on this blog post. But that’s a stupid answer because pictures are only mere kilobytes and I have a few gigabytes of space. Continue reading “Why Don’t I Use Images?”
I know it’s not Monday. I’ve decided that limiting myself to just one post a week won’t do. There will still be a new post every Monday, but now I will also write other posts on other days when I’m feeling up to it. They won’t be as long or as well thought out as the Monday posts, they will just be little side-posts. Think of them as a sort of pseudo-editorial. Sometimes they’ll be opinions, sometimes they’ll be top ten lists (or lists of other variants) and sometimes they’ll just be a little rambling post like this. Continue reading “More Than Meets The Eye”
So I’m starting this blog a little late. I guess that means we have to play catch up. Before we do that, however, just a little bit about me:
My name is Stephen Kaplan (hence the web address). I am 20-years-old and I live in the vast, faraway land known as Canada. I live in an igloo and have a pet polar bear I ride around everywhere; or so people think. Truth be told, I wish my life was that awesome. Sadly, I am just your typical average wannabe writer. I’ve been trying to write a novel since I was ten, even though my spelling and grammar were…well, they were as good as a ten-year-old’s can get. Nowadays they’re much better and I’d even say they’re damn good (though definitely not perfect, I do make mistakes and I tend to put commas where semicolons are needed, but I digress). Continue reading “Getting Caught Up”