A Very Creepy Experience

This isn’t going to be a long post, but I just need to tell you guys about a weird thing that happened today at work.

So early on I was looking for these small plant snippers with a green handle (see image below) and I couldn’t find them anywhere. I looked all around my department for a good 10-15 minutes, but they were nowhere to be found.

A little while later I went to the back quickly to replace the battery in my scanning gun (I was only away for a couple minutes) and when I returned the snippers were sitting on a cardboard thing out in the open.

The Rudest Customer Ever!

So this happened today (May 10th, 2014). This customer came in near the end of my shift with the mentality that “I’m the customer, I can do whatever I want and everyone has to jump through hopes to please me.” Most customers are pretty good, not this guy.

So he came in looking to buy a 7-piece patio set that came in two boxes, but didn’t come with an umbrella. He had to buy the umbrella separately. That part he didn’t mind. Anyway, after I got the patio set from the trailer and loaded it onto a pallet jack, I was told that he was going to buy some other stuff that he couldn’t take through the garden centre and thus would have to pay for it at the front of the store.

The Curse of Cursing

As you’ve probably noticed by now…I tend to curse a lot. I throw in quite a few f-bombs here and there as well as other lesser curse words. But did you know I wasn’t always like that? In fact, there was a time when I hated cursing and when I hated people who cursed. It’s weird to think about, but it’s true.

For this post we have to travel all the way back to when I was a wee widdle wad. I know “wad” is a word, but you have to pronounce it like “lad” with a “w”. I guess you don’t have to, I can’t tell you what to do. But for that to work, it should be pronounced that way. I’m just stalling now. So anyway, how is your sex life? (If you get what that’s from, you’re awesome.)

The Primacy Effect

You might be wondering what the title means. What is “The Primacy Effect”? That’s a very good question. The Primacy Effect is essentially the saying, “First impressions last a lifetime.” That is to say, once you’ve made a bad first impression, it’s never going to get better.

Enter my second year of university. This happened back in January of 2013, though I can’t remember if this was before or after the break up. Not that it matters anyway as my ex-girlfriend has no relevance to this story whatsoever.

Violence Solves Everything

I like to think that I’m strong and capable. I mean, I kind of am. A lot of people wouldn’t think so because of my height (or lack thereof [gee, I sure use that expression a lot, don’t I?]). I’m 5’3, so I’m short but not “little person” short. Most people tend to tower over me, and I’m okay with that…kind of. I wish I was 5’5 or 5’6 (if not, you know, normal height) but what can you do? My dad and I are the same height, my sister is 5′ and my mom is under 5′ so we’re all really short people. The weird thing is that my shoe size is at least 2 sizes bigger than my dad’s, so doesn’t that mean I should be taller than him? I don’t know. The point is, I’m short but don’t mistake that for weakness.

The Ghost Post

Halloween is fast approaching. Since this is the closest Monday to Halloween (not including the first Monday of November because that’s after Halloween) I figure I should use this opportunity to tell you guys about my experiences with the paranormal. Now what you’re about to read is actually a note that I wrote on Facebook back in May 2012 and continually updated throughout the next year. The latest update was July 19th, 2013. So the first section will say “my girlfriend” or “Erica” but she is still my ex-girlfriend and sections that come after January 2013 that mention her say “ex-girlfriend”. Anyway, that’s enough introduction, enjoy.

I’ve been living in this house my whole life and, even though we’re nowhere near a cemetery and as far as I know no one has died in this house, there have been some weird occurrences happening. Strangely enough a lot of them happen to me or in my room.

The Worst Wingman Ever!

So there’s this guy named Cameron. We don’t talk much anymore but up until a few years ago he and I were best friends. We had been best friends since I was in grade 3 and he was in grade 2. Before I tell you the story of the worst wingman ever, allow me to tell you how we met:

So the year was…whenever I was in grade three. I’m too lazy to figure it out, but it was the early 2000s. It was recess time and I was sitting on a bench outside playing Wario Land 3 on my Gameboy Color (if it wasn’t the name of the product, I’d spell it “colour”). I had a big group of people around me watching me play for whatever reason (I guess their lives got a lot more interesting with me playing a hand-held console). Anyway, I was stuck on a certain part in one of the levels and couldn’t figure it out. Cameron came along and was like, “I know how to beat it.” And he did. After that we were inseparable for a very long time.

The Adventures of Stick-Man

One thing I neglected to mention in my intro post is a little something that started in December 2006 and ended in March 2008 and that is… “The Adventures of Stick-Man”!

What is Stick-Man? Excellent question, faithful reader. Stick-Man is a character in a comic series that I had created back near the end of 2006. The series revolved around Stick-Man (a stick figure superhero), his sidekick Stick Version of Spider-Man (or Spidie as he was called in the series) and a villainous character creatively named Bad-Man. Early on in the series Bad-Man had a henchman but after a few episodes I forgot about him and so he just kind of disappeared.

Getting Caught Up

So I’m starting this blog a little late. I guess that means we have to play catch up. Before we do that, however, just a little bit about me:

My name is Stephen Kaplan (hence the web address). I am 20-years-old and I live in the vast, faraway land known as Canada. I live in an igloo and have a pet polar bear I ride around everywhere; or so people think. Truth be told, I wish my life was that awesome. Sadly, I am just your typical average wannabe writer. I’ve been trying to write a novel since I was ten, even though my spelling and grammar were…well, they were as good as a ten-year-old’s can get. Nowadays they’re much better and I’d even say they’re damn good (though definitely not perfect, I do make mistakes and I tend to put commas where semicolons are needed, but I digress).